Faces of depression

Not everyone knows what Dysthymia is or what double depression is. Few know what serotonin syndrome is either. Well, I do. Dysthymia is lifelong depression. Serotonin syndrome means you are basically, for lack of a better meaning, allergic to most anti-depressants. Life is very hard for me sometimes. Ok, all the time. I have learned to take it in public and in the work place for the most part of I keep my distance. My husband and mother try to understand and put up with a lot. More than I ever would from someone that is for sure. Today I chose to start medication that my body may tolerate. I don't want to. I have fought the idea of it for years. I feel like a failure and broken. This medicarion may change who I am. What if I get lost?