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Thursday, July 2, 2015

Full Moon

Light in the Darkness



I am trying to hold on so hard. What am I holding onto though? I am not sure. Life has been emotionally difficulty lately with the loss of my stepfather. And with the upcoming birth of my first and possibly only grandchild next month my life is a bit full. Work is going OK. It is not perfect but I am thankful I have a job. I miss my children terribly. I want to be at home for them. I am stressed for unknown reasons also. OK, some are known but not blogworthy. Marriage is hard. I never was one who thought marriage or having a partner was lifelong. I really feel we are programmed to operate in cycles. Our society tries to teach us that marriage should last forever as we see people all around us getting divorces or ending relationships. I want to say I deserve happiness but I am not sure I do. I have hurt people emotionally in the past. I can be extremely cold and I can really hold a grudge. Do I really deserve anything?

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

My new posters

I really like these new posters. I wanted to display them in my nursery classroom at my church but that is no longer my church. I no longer teach at the Unitarian Universalist Church of Birmingham. That was so hard to say. I have been a part of the children's program there for almost 9 years. For personal and professional reasons I no longer teach, am a member of  SEEC, or even attend the church. I am still agonizing over my decision. In the long run I believe it is best but I am still hurting. I tried so hard to fit in in a place that accepts everyone. I am going to be blunt. I finally felt so unwelcome because I am poor and have many children. I do not fit the mold of the typical rich privileged UU.  I felt I was used and taken advantage of. I am meeting with and organizing with individuals and families closer to me to help grow a new Unitarian Universalist fellowship in my county. It may be a long process but beliefs and convictions need to set roots somewhere sometime. Why not now....

 
 
 

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

EI today

Some of Etta's siblings helped her with her Early Intervention session today. The theme was bubbles help a one year old try to walk and talk...

Who doesn't love a foggy bubble machine. I am so glad I am able to get off work early enough to participate now.












Etta helping snip some lemon balm

My lemon balm started to bloom. I want it to keep growing so I snipped it back some. Etta helped....




Doing what you are asked...



Not the best picture but I asked my 16 year old to hang up the diaper covers. I was hoping for a hot sunny day. No such luck, we had a pretty typical severe thunderstorms this morning. So in our small home diapers get hung up in the laundry closet. Lyn sent me the picture herself. Thanks for your help Sweetie....

Monday, June 29, 2015

This past weekend...

Lyn has been such a great help lately. Nesting really becomes her and us so helpful to me. She is really good with kids. I believe she has my knack. She may not want to be an educator or teacher or even a caregiver of children other than her own but she is darn good. It would be an easy profession for her to pursue but she knows it is hard to raise a family on what teachers make unless they work in public school. I think she could teach high school....

Well, this weekend Lyn planted my new herbs and an aloe plant. The little kids call it a baby cactus. I guess it does look like one. That was our wild and crazy Friday night. Saturday after I finally got up we went to the library. I tried to get Annika to spend the night but she said maybe next weekend.  I am going to hold onto that. Saturday night Etta cried for hours. I nursed her a lot but then I just got too tired emotionally and physically. I knew she needed to comfort nurse but I cut her off. We were both very unhappy. I finally put her in her crib and had to leave her alone. I was exhausted. She finally slept about 40 minutes. She woke up screaming and I brought her back into my bed and nursed her. She slept a few hours and then our Sunday began. I had promised the kids we could go swimming so I drug myself out of bed and away we went. Etta loved the pool. With water wings even the boys got a bit more adventurous in the water. We had a nice time. I tried to nap later but it just didn't happen. Etta had several good naps though....