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Tuesday, April 21, 2015

To brighten my day

As I sat in the sun during my lunch break I decided to run across the road to see what was growing in the field nearby. Spring..... ahhhh......

Monday, April 20, 2015

Lyn my daughter, mother to be

 
Yes, that is what I said. I love my eldest daughter. She is smart, beautiful, hard working, a bit of a typical know-it-all teenager, sassy, expecting mother-to-be. I am not disappointed. I am not angry. I am not scared. I am just well, me....
 
I support her in her decision to carry a child and raise a child. I am excited to be a grandmother. I am still nursing my youngest but I will welcome my grand-daughter into my arms as I am still mothering my own children.
 
The cycle of life is wonderful and hard and if it did not continue why are we here...?

Annika's tree

 
I think I posted about Annika and her tree last year when it started to leaf out in the Spring. Here I am again with the reminder of my lost daughter. I have tried to communicate with her. I invite her to spend time with my side of her family. She refuses. I almost wish she would just be angry but she is just strange when we talk. Like the water symbol that the willow can be seen as she is just an empty vessel. She is filled with what she is surrounded by. I bought her a birthday present for her 13th birthday and was going to attempt to celebrate with her but I believe it will just not happen. I try and try to just let go because that is what she wants but she grew within my body and it is hard. Knowing that she just doesn't see me or her siblings as her family probably makes her father very happy. It was always a goal of his to have children but not have to "deal with" a mother for them. Well, he got it.... It may backfire on him and Annika may regret turning away from her mother but we all have regrets....

Lyn the thespian...

 
I watched Lyn last night at her school [lay. She was the understudy for a main part in the play and the understudies got to perform for the last showing of the play. I am biased but she was awesome!! She has worked hard for months with her theater class and it showed for all of them. I know I could not have done what she did....
 
So proud of her.....

Thursday, April 16, 2015

Symbols of Beltane

A lot can come to mind when you think of this time of year and Beltane. Fertility is one of them. Literal fertility of encouraging conception and also just fertility of the world around us as new things are growing during this season. Fertility and creativity of thought is also something to think about during Beltane. I chose this Mother figure and these chalices to represent the welcoming female aspect of the concept of fertility. If you look closely the clear chalice has a thistle on it. Thistle and burdock plants hold a lot of meaning for me personally. If I had to pick a talisman plat it would be a thistle. It just feels right to me. They are such a functional helpful plant and herb especially for breastfeeding mothers but they are a tough plant to love. They are prickly and can cause wounds if not harvested properly. They are in bloom this time of year. I need to harvest some for May Day and for my own collection. I finished working on my ceremonial Maypole and I have a picture of the wreath for it pictured here. I think I will practice with the kids this week on a dance around the Maypole. I'll get more pictures of it then. I wanted to show my mortar and pestle here that hint at a yoni and phallic shape. Sorry to be a bit frank but it is a celebration of fertility..... 
 
 
 



Tuesday, April 14, 2015

What's growing

My mood is very negative lately. I am trying so hard sometimes to find just a glimmer of positivity




some days.  Sitting outside after work because it was so warm in the house it started to rain. My solar globes started to come on so I was inspired to take some photos. Some flowers are randomly growing around my favorite tree, my tulip poplar. My fennel and lemon balm is coming up and my rosemary and rue are flourishing. My lavender is a bit sad but it isn't dead yet. I just can't keep lavender alive....

Saturday, April 11, 2015

Some super finds for Etta..



Etta tried out her riding toy. She is still a bit small for it but she enjoyed trying it out with Granny....



Friday, April 10, 2015

My wild and crazy night

Harvesting juniper berries

 
Juniper is one of my favorite evergreens and conifers. It is fun trying to convince the kids that the berries are actually cones. They smell so nice. I have had some drying all winter. I had the little kids pick them from the dried branches. The color is so vibrant...

Some perspective today...