Some mothers will say every pregnancy is different and some will say they are all pretty much the same from their viewpoint. Well, all of pregnancies HAVE been pretty much the same as I remember them at this moment. Even my pregnancy that had some complications and resulted in a baby born by C-section at 28 weeks still felt the same up to that point. Physically I feel like a woman in the beginning of her third trimester but emotionally I feel barely pregnant. I guess because we had such a scare at the beginning that she wasn't even going to be born alive that I have just now acknowledged that she is OK. Or as OK as any mother knows at this point. I am having difficulty imagining her after she is born and I am having difficulty imagining birth. Usually with my last few births I have had clear pictures in my head what I wanted out of the birth experience. Of course most of that never happened because I was not in control in the hospital setting. I am a mad mama bear when I don't get my way. I wish this little one would just be quick and be born at home. I wish Midwives were legal and affordable to mothers in Alabama. I just wish I had choices.....
This is a very stressful time financially also. I usually don't talk too much about money because I am proud to live a frugal life. Now we are just plain poor. I am looking for full time work but who will hire someone who is so pregnant knowing they will need time off? I feel so stuck....
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