Sunday, May 11, 2014

Mother's Day

So bittersweet.....

I have birthed 9 children .I have been pregnant 12 times. Being a mother is the largest part of my identity.  My children  are the parts of me that will go on. I may never be remembered by my actions or what I do to support humanity but my children will go on and their children and so forth. 3 of my children or at least two more than likely wish they had another mother or no mother at all. Connor, Danny, and  Annika live with their father and the boys really have to be made to spend any time at my home. Annika went to live with her father last July so she is OK to spend the night in her old room sometimes.  Connor hasn't been over since Christmas season. He called this morning to say he didn't want to come for the day. I validated his feelings but told him this was a special day and he had to come see me and his grandmother.  I am so afraid my sensitive 13 year old Connor is drawing more and more into himself. I let him go when he was 5 years old. I suppose at least half of his challenges are my fault. I don't feel that his father meets all his needs but do we ever have all our needs met? But he is a child.....

Everything ended up going well. We all  went to church and everyone behaved themselves and enjoyed the last RE class of the year before the summer curriculum begins. Latter in the day we collected flowers for Granny and her mother in law for Mother's Day. I feel picking flowers grown in my own yard and those wildflowers collected in common areas mean more than store bought ones.

Happy Mother's Day!

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