Monday, April 29, 2019

How I feel...

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How do I explain it? Depression, failure, incompetence, down right useless is how I feel. I feel like the kids don't listen to me or care about what I use. I didn't say that they always don't listen. I said I FEEL like they don't listen. I feel like they don't need me. I KNOW they do but I FEEL that they don't. My solution is to just hide. Their Dad seems to not have this problem. He just goes on day by day the same. Even when he is frazzled he just sets boundaries like, "leave each other alone. or go outside you two and you two stay inside". He diffuses squabbles between the kids. It doesn't drown him that kids are hard and the house needs to be cleaned. He doesn't set his self worth on how he is perceived. I have to be "the best" at everything and I am just mediocre at a lot of things. That is how the world is. At least the world I live in....

 

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