Of course everyone says I am blessed and lucky to have my kids and home. I know I am but that alone doesn't make the pain go away. The pain never goes away. It is physical and emotional pain....
I know God can take my burden but I have carried it for most of my life. How much of me will be left if I let it go? Pain and life events define you. I guess I am scared to loose myself even though I don't like myself...
Just a day off thankful for family and my mother's sweet potato pie....
Ted decided to cut his own hair. I guess the skater look is in for 48 year olds this year. Nothing better than a pie, a cute husband, and a sleeping Elaina to make an afternoon...
Happy 7th birthday Etta Sophia!! All children are miracles but Etta gets a little extra divine attention... I was told she would not be born alive or live long after birth. She had multiple birth defects detected before birth. Her diagnosis was changed after birth to unknown till more testing. Tiny Baby was her nickname as Elaina, big sister by about 18 months, was Little Baby. Etta was bigger than Elaina at birth by a few ounces but growth came very slowly. She got her therapy, special education, and even though she is blessed to have a unique type of dwarfism she is doing well. So sassy in fact.... Her physical milestones have been basically met. Her unique features and some unseen internal challenges are hers to deal with but she is a happy child.
I needed to take a bteak physically and emotionally from teaching for a few weeks. I am not sure if I will have a job when and if I return but I have learned the hard way to step back before I break. I still have to have an income though and am working overnigjt home health a few nights a week. 2 nights gives me about the same hours as teaching partime. But I still need to maintain going to the pool. I waited so long to get in at Lakeshore and don't plan on loosing my scholarship. So, aftet working 12 hours I picked up breakfast at the grocery store at in the parking lot and worked out... A woman, Synovia, that I met last week was there. I get depressed when I am thete because I feel alone or I remember a toxic job environment when I was thete and it spoils my mood. But, talking to her is always nice. Being 46 I am in the younger age bracket that comes there. She is too. It is nice to talk with someone new.
On a side note, the flowers were still blooming in their new landscape area. The purple lavender like sage is very vice. I wish I could get it to grow so pretty. And the smell... so nice...
Another stop at the grocery store for pizzas and a little pampering from my hubby and hugs from the kids along with a nap and I am good to go for another night...
Awww good old fashioned Home Ec... Eliot's class learned all about stiches and made a stich book. It shows her work on all types of stiches. You go girl!!
La palabra del Señor en español es todo lo que impide que mi corazón se rompa en angustia.
The day was very long. I don't sleep well. At church I was asked to stand and mention my service. I am proud to be a Vet even if it is miniscule time of service.
Today was so long....
I was so excited to get back in the pool. My weight and diagnoses hopefully will get some help now....
Got to teach the girls... Dad is fond of more plain eggs but I like to spice it up... This batch included basil, rosemary, salt, pepper, turmeric, a little milk, butter, cheese, and about 9 eggs. Let's just say there is none left...
Lyn and I aren't talking face to face right now. It is very complicated. It is deep rooted in the past. I want desperately to change wh...
