Trauma....

 

This time of year is so hard for me. Over the years a lot has happened that was negative, painful, traumatic, shameful, and life altering in the last 3 months of the calendar year after year after year and now decade after decade. Some things I caused. Some things I had done to me. Some things were just being in the wrong place at the wrong time. 

Of course everyone says I am blessed and lucky to have my kids and home. I know I am but that alone doesn't make the pain go away. The pain never goes away. It is physical and emotional pain....

I know God can take my burden but I have carried it for most of my life. How much of me will be left if I let it go? Pain and life events define you. I guess I am scared to loose myself even though I don't like myself...