Better news

 The cancer has not spread. Still a long road but not as bleak.

Testing Day, yesterday

 

I had a full body bone scan and CT scan today. I go to the oncologist tomorrow to get the results. I will then get more information I assume about treatment options. Physically I have been feeling different. My chest is becoming tighter. It almost feels like it does when you need to pump or nurse. I just feel full and a bit uncomfortable but not in pain. George has been great. He didn't sleep much last night. He is doing well considering he has a really hard time being in hospitals since his mother died.

A new garland

 It is so hard just to exist most days. I need to organize the new home. Keep moving things from storage, move RVs, work all the time, and honestly all I really want to do is sleep. I finally have a tub back. I know a lot of people don't like to take baths but I can stay in one for hours. I guess growing up without one that wasn't shared with quite a few people I went overboard when I left home. Salts, oils, a few bubbles... As hot as I can stand it and I may not leave. Add a book, a soda, candles is there a need?

Back to my garland. I saw something like this in a junk shop years ago. I made one that hangs outside my door. If you look far enough back in my blog you can find baby Etta and Eliot helping make it. Yesterday I started a new one. I didn't have all my herbs and items out so I used salt from George's chalice, lavender, various beads and bones, and a mother figure. I also added keys because they hold symbolism to my relationship with George. I need to get more herbs and different cloth for future pouches. Now, where to put it?

Late Swim Day

 Ben officially does not like his picture made now at 12 and a half...

The news

Well, we found out the results and met with the oncologist and surgeon yesterday. I was going on no sleep from working 3rd shift and by the end of the day I was exhausted. I was optimistic that surgery and loosing a breast was in my future and that was going to be the biggest news. Nope, I was wrong. Surgery, chemo, radiation, toxic meds are all recommended. Even with that that journey it would be a slim chance of beating this in 5 or 6 years. I have no idea how I am supposed to work and support my family while doing treatment. They said the max of 8 chemo treatments. I can't even imagine that. I am going n shock and just want a semi-normal life.

Nothing like a sweet man putting shelves up for you...

 In our new home I can't wait to get my books out of storage. Such a view...

It Is What it Is, MRI day... And then a therapeutic visit to Golden Temple

 

I am scheduled for my MRI to determine what my oncologist and surgeon need to do next week. Now they are telling me I am not in the system. No MRI no surgery, no surgery, death...

I got my MRI. I think my doctor is actually a B-word at her hospital. I'll take it. I had a bit of a reaction to the due injected but it was brief. I really need d a change of pace. We were down town so to Golden Temple we went. One of my happy places.

I found a book by one of my favorite authors and Herbalists.

Another tooth down

There is another loose one up top. Hopefully he will loose it before kindergarten..

Handsome child

Not the best or economical way to get a day off but grateful I have someone to care for me when I have strep. My partner to tuck me in and make fun of my hair, the kids ' dad and family to take care of kiddos, and Super Granny to taxi said kids around to work and daycare.

Oh Kitty Baby

 This cat is so unusual. He is inbred and meows like he is talking. The little bugger made a run for it and got out today as we needed to move. I hope he wanders back. The kids especially Elaina will greatly miss him. 

The journey continues with our new home...

I have had stuff stored in my Yukon for months not to mention just clutter in the RVs. We moved a few loads before I had to go back to work. My old Chalice broke but I still had this one that I usually bring out in Winter. A random green candle for prosperity was found and lit. I can't wait to continue to make this a home.

Breast Cancer Journey

I decided to blog more lately. Knowing that my mortality, my outward appearance, and my womanhood / motherhood have been forever changed is an experience that is hard to describe. I always thought I was healthy. I didn't have any red flags or risk factors yet here I am. A book I have owned for over a decade was calling to me the other day. I bought several new books about breast cancer but never realized a book I already owned was written because the author got diagnosed with breast cancer. A lot of quotes just from the preface spoke to me. I even read some out loud to George. Hopefully this will be a tool for hat will help me through this challenge.

Happy 16th Birthday to a super cool teenager!

 I love you my child...