It was very hard spending the day without 3 of my children today. Danny is an adult so I suppose he at least has that excuse. I did not force Connor and Annika to come over. I usually do. Not this year. At church I broke down and tried to call them. No one answered or returned the message I left. I celebrated with the 6 children I had with me but my heart is broken a bit. I know I contributed to the situation but most of the blame I put on their father for cultivating such hatred towards me. It is amazing how selfish humans can be. I birthed and nursed these children. I sacrificed so they had a roof over their head. I suppose I can consider myself lucky. Some mothers loose all their children. I still have 6 children that adore me and a soon to be grand-daughter who frankly will be a jewel to he treasured.