Oh what a night...

I guess I am just anxious to meet my new baby. I feel like I have been in early labor for days. Last night was a bit more uncomfortable than the previous nights. I almost wanted to just head to the hospital and throw my hands in the air and saw "let's get this show on the road". I know little one isn't ready or she would be here and I am only 38 weeks. My expectations are all over the place with the idea of her birth. Part of me wants to cherish these last pregnant moments and plan for a natural intervention free birth and labor at home as long as possible. I have even dreamt of a home birth. Another part of me is hoping I am at least 3 centimeters dilated and use some mild interventions like sweeping membranes and possibly breaking my waters to jump start everything. Even though I am usually against anything like that. I know trying to rush things is futile. I have rubbed evening primrose oil on my belly and added it to my bath (it has natural prostaglandins in it that can help ripen your cervix). I even took a few capsules of evening primrose by mouth. At my last maternity clinic visit last Thursday I had not gained any weight. I am sure I will though. If I had to guess this little girl may weigh in at 6'2". Everything is pointing to the fact that she may be small. One reason I think my contractions aren't doing much is because even though she is head down she is floating and won't engage until my water breaks. She is just so small she is swimming. I am being impatient. I know she needs to stay right where she is until SHE is ready to come out but I am a bit done by now. This pregnancy has been different though in some ways. Emotionally because of a few scares about genetic abnormalities and small size I have been anxious about things I never worried about before. Physically, I haven't gained as much weight even though in pictures I feel like I look huge. I don't waddle unless I am really tired at the end of the day and have done a lot of walking. I can still get out of the bathtub on my own. Clothes that I could not wear at the end of my last pregnancy still fit me. I just need to sit back and enjoy each day.....

 

Now, tomorrow is the full moon so who knows what will happen.