3 ducks in a row.....

Such sweetness..... I miss my children so much. I never do understand how parents choose not to parent during the night. Having my youngest girls bed share is just plain parenting. And with the youngest a nursling it just makes sense. Notice the co-sleeper crib that is empty. There is another crib in the room also. Etta enjoys playing in it, sleeping not so much.

Organizing diapers

With Lyn expecting her daughter, my first grandchild, this summer she has taken it upon herself to organize my diaper stash. She has already set aside our newborn diapers for her little one. Now that I am not working as much in the afternoon I am going to take advantage of the sun to bleach out my diapers. We have been drying diapers inside but they have been missing the sun. I am proud of my daughter that at 16 she sees the value of using cloth diapers for her baby. Plus it is just plain cheaper especially since we have enough for two children in diapers. 

At the playground again

On this Memorial Day I spent the day with 6 of my 9 children. I talked to them about the true meaning of the day. It is hard for the young children to understand but I know if I continue to explain it every year they will one day understand. We did manage to enjoy each other's company.

18 months old today!!!

Etta is growing up.... She is making strides everyday. Her health is good but she is still developmentally delayed. I have remind myself all the time how old she is. She is functioning on more of a 10 month old level. I am so proud of her.

Girls coloring....

I could not resist these doodle coloring books at the school book fair at work. Eliot and Elaina got to them before I could....

My sun protection today

Spending a lot of time outside at my job had prompted me to collect some natural sun protection oils. Carrot seed essential oil has a high SPF as does rosehip oil. I simply added these together using the rosehip oil as a carrier oil. I was in a rush. Later I am going to make a lotion with these non-nano zinc oxide, beeswax, Shea butter, and coconut oil. We shall see how that turns out. I want a solid enough consistency to use it in a roll on stick.

Mother's Day

It was very hard spending the day without 3 of my children today. Danny is an adult so I suppose he at least has that excuse. I did not force Connor and Annika to come over. I usually do. Not this year. At church I broke down and tried to call them. No one answered or returned the message I left. I celebrated with the 6 children I had with me but my heart is broken a bit. I know I contributed to the situation but most of the blame I put on their father for cultivating such hatred towards me. It is amazing how selfish humans can be. I birthed and nursed these children. I sacrificed so they had a roof over their head. I suppose I can consider myself lucky. Some mothers loose all their children. I still have 6 children that adore me and a soon to be grand-daughter who frankly will be a jewel to he treasured. 

Etta's EI session today

I am usually at work for Special Instruction sessions. I was home today!!!!! It is a little strange being on the parent side of things. It is hard to believe her annual review is coming up. I am pretty sure she will still qualify. She has made a lot of progress but she is still mistaken for a child much younger. For a while I thought she would not walk till after she was 2 years old. She may surprise us and walk before she is 2. She is almost 18 months old and is pulling up and cruising a little.

An evening at the playground.....

My Pink Eye Treatment

I was sent home from work  today due to a red eye. My director didn't want to take the risk of me passing it on to any children so I was sent home. She insisted that I go to the doctor and get antibiotic drops. I refused because I do not have insurance and I don't feel pink eye is all that serious. She tried giving me her own prescription drops. First that isn't legal and second I prefer not to take antibiotics unless absolutely necessary. So I made up my own herbal wash for my eye. I also have store bought homeapathic drops. After treating myself I feel a lot better. My eye looks a lot better and feels better. Everyone needs an eyewash cup....

Etta waiting on her blood draw

The story behind the shoes

 

After breaking my foot at work on the ice years ago (feel free to look back on my blog Winter of 2011 I believe) my right foot does not like heavy shoes. I actually feel like I am rebreaking my foot sometimes. Well, these simple almost slipper type shoes are great. They wear out quickly but they don't hurt my feet. My darker pair that I have been wearing finally tore to pieces. I couldn't find these for a few days and have been wearing my heavy sneakers. My feet are killing me. After a rough morning of knocking over a glass of orange juice in the dark and waking up the baby I grabbed my sneakers for another rough day. As I was pulling out of the driveway my husband comes out of the house with a baby under one arm and my shoes in the other. He dug them out of their hiding place without me even asking. He knew my feet hurt. He pays attention and that is such a nice feeling.

Going on an herb walk....

 

 

There is a meadow near my job that has several species of herbs and other plants growing in it. They mow it at least once a year. It hasn't been mowed yet and it is so full of growth. I am glad the bees are still hard at work on the flowers. I collected some red clover (it is actually pink) and some yarrow. I think I will add some to my Spring wreath and dry some for personal use but I need to pick some more. I need more yarrow. Its energy is really speaking to me this season. I use it sparingly as an Herbalist but in my more magical mode it calls to me.

The Flower Full Moon

The full moon in May is called the Flower Full Moon or sometimes the Hare Moon. I believe I may have a simple candle lighting at home with the kids outside tonight. It is a nice way to start the week....

Happy 13th Birthday Annika

 

Annika's birth was very traumatic and she has had a very complicated role in my life. I love her but she has chosen to distance herself from me and her half siblings. I do not understand but I will respect her choices. She is young and has a cognitive disorder. Because of this I can wait and see if she changes her mind. I thought as she got older and started on her path into womanhood she would need me more. I was wrong so far. Again, she is young. I will always be here for her. She chooses to live with her father and brothers. Her father's influence is strange and unproductive in my opinion but I cannot control her. I get a lot of flak from strangers and casual friends for "letting" my daughter live with her father. Parents have equal rights. I don't believe mothers are better than fathers. Some individuals make better parents but their gender does not dictate that. Do I feel that her father is a better parent? Actually, no I don't. I believe I am the better parent but he has equal rights as do I. She made her choice and I allowed it....

 

I love you Annika.....

Merry Beltane / Happy May Day

At church this evening we celebrated Beltane. We opened up the celebration to the public and members of the church. We were very pleased to see several individuals and families show up. I was happy to explain my views of Beltane and how I simply celebrate this halfway point between Spring and Summer. The aspect of blooming flowers, growth, fertility, and letting go of negative thoughts and energy was emphasized. I placed some dried flowers and herbs from my collection to the fire as I am collecting fresh herbs to dry. These dried plants were hanging on my front porch. By burning them I felt release of all the challenges that I have faced in the past year or at least in the past season. Participants were encouraged to write what they wished to "let go of" on a piece of paper and place it in the fire if they so wished.