Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Birth ideals

I have had an easy pregnancy so far except for some migraine trauma early on. But I just cannot get away from some anxiety over this baby's birth. I think I just have too many expectations. I want a natural birth but I am afraid of pushing. I want a home birth but I am afraid a little of postpartum pain without pain medication. I get really strong after pains when nursing. I don't want a lot of interventions for the baby and am afraid the medical personnel will give me a lot of heat for declining some procedures. I wish I could just turn off my brain for a while and not think about things. I am proud of myself that I have educated myself about pregnancy, childbirth, and infant care but knowledge can be a burden sometimes. I am afraid my labor will be really fast  and since it is probably my last labor I will feel cheated of the experience. I know some women really hope for fast easy labors. I am OK with an easy birth I just don't want it to be so fast that it gets away from me.....

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